A Tribute to Esma

She would probably be angry with me, if she knew that I was writing this. On Thursday she turned 90 years old and on Friday, age no longer mattered. Most of you reading this never met Esma nor probably ever heard her name, yet for me, she was one of those pillars in my life that helped define who I am today.

Most would say that she was fiesty, at the least, and at her very worst, sharp tongued and blunt, but that was Esma; there was no pretense to being anything other than who she was. For me, Esma was one of the purest examples of Biblical friendship and loyalty that I have ever known. I remember, years ago, when some people had left our church. Esma made no secret of her displeasure and did so by finding a church phone directory and calling each of those who had left chewing them out, but that was Esma.

Proverbs 20:6 says," Many a man proclaims his own loyalty (goodness), but who can find a trustworthy man (woman) ?" The NKJ translates "trustworthy"as faithful, and that is what Esma modeled in my life for over 30 years.

Esma loved me unconditionally through all of my mistakes and imperfections, because she believed in the Jesus in me and my love for Him. It wasn't a blind sort of love but a commitment to walking with me for "the long haul," no matter the cost; a trait sorely lacking in the Body of Christ today.

Esma always got mad when I would bring her flowers, fruit, or anything else. She would always say that there were other people in worse shape than she, and that my efforts would be much better directed towards them. Once she settled down, she would always take my face in her shriveled hands and lovingly tell me that I was like her son. I will never forget her touch.

In contrast today, Loyalty is often defined conditionally by those who "use" friendship for personal gain. Others see loyalty as an opportunity for personal advancement on the backs of others. Still others proclaim their loyalty until a better offer comes along. When loyalty is challenged through differing points of view, the shallowness of commitment that was never there to begin with is revealed.

How do yo say good bye to someone who accepted and loved you unconditionally? How can you replace a friend that defended you even when you were wrong, loving you with a kind of love that always seemed to make things easier to deal with?

Esma, in her own way, taught me a lot about the loyalty of Godly love; and just knowing that she was there, gave me strength to carry on. I will forever remember where Esma always sat in church when she could still come. I remember that smile when we would make eye contact and that twinkle in her eye that always let me know how proud she was of me.

I will never forget Esma and her contribution to my life, because she lived Jesus before me. And as the seasons come and go, I will always remember her excitement at Thanksgiving to cook for her many family members; in the spring, the pleasure she had to tend to her many flowers and yard. But most of all, my many thoughts of Esma will serve as stepping stones into the future that I too may be worthy of the title "loyal friend."

I close with the words of Kahlil Gibran from his book "The Prophet." "When you part from your friend, you grieve not, for that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain."